5 Dating Resolutions for 2024Dec 31, 2023
How did your Christmas go? I hope you had a fab one and got to spend some good times with your friends and/or family.
So now we’re in the in-between time! If you’re lucky enough not to be working, this is when you can relax a bit, watch telly or get started on those books you’ve been meaning to read, and finish off all the cheese and chocolate!
But it’s also a great time to take stock. To reflect on the year gone by and make plans for the new year ahead.
The reflection part is really important – remembering and savouring those good moments, and acknowledging what we’ve achieved. It has huge potential for making us feel happier and more positive.
So do take some time to sit and jot down some of the lovely things that happened in 2023, and the things you know you got right and liked yourself for. If you’re having trouble remembering it might help to have your diary to hand and to have a look through your photo gallery. I’ve no doubt you’ll find quite a few pictures that’ll put a smile on your face :)
And then of course the next thing to do is to make plans for how we want to grow and move forwards in the next year.
For me that’s going to be all about getting more exercise in the outdoors, getting into the sea more, and making more time to see friends. I’m pretty sure that’s very similar to what I said last year and I am making progress, but still…
So what are you going to work on in 2024? Frustratingly we don’t have endless time and energy, so we have to prioritise.
I suspect, given you’re reading this blog, that one of your goals is going to be finding a good partner of course! And the extra bonus with that one is - when you find the partner, that’s going to help you with all the other stuff too, because a good secure relationship GIVES you time and energy.
So if finding your main man is going to be high on your list for 2024 I have a 5 suggested New Year’s resolutions for you!
Resolution #1: Embrace positivity
One of the qualities that I’ve found a great predictor of success in dating is a positive mindset. If you can come at the enterprise with a friendly, open attitude, where you assume people have good intentions (unless they have traits that indicate otherwise!) then you’ll attract other friendly, positive people.
But if you find yourself saying things like “all the men I meet seem to be players – there are no decent ones” or “I only attract guys who mess me about” you’ll find that this tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you’re expecting to meet rubbish blokes, you’ll find it hard to even notice the good men, and you won’t be making yourself very approachable or appealing to men who could actually make you happy.
There really are good guys out there, and if you can try a positive, friendly approach then you’re far more likely to find them.
Resolution #2: Change your routine
Something you can do to increase the potential for meeting new people – and therefore the chances of meeting a good man – is to change your routine and habits.
So for instance, you could change the way you get to work – walk a different route, pop into a different cafe for your morning coffee. If you commute by train – maybe get a slightly earlier or later train, get a different bus, go to different shops, try a different gym – you get the idea. By changing our routines slightly we can put ourselves into contact with a whole load of new people and so this gives us the opportunity to meet new men.
And of course you could join a new club or class. Try to make sure it’s one where there’s a decent proportion of men, and also make sure it’s something you’re actually interested in. That way you’ll meet like-minded people AND you’ll enjoy it!
Resolution #3: Take on board the new dating culture
Gone are the days where women needed to be coy and play hard to get. And if you’ve been reading “the Rules” you might want to chuck it in the bin.
I’m not suggesting throwing yourself at men, or relaxing your boundaries. Quite the reverse – I want you to be confident about what you want from a relationship and not be afraid to express your needs.
But in these days of #metoo and more emphasis on consent, the good guys – the nice respectful men aren’t going to be pushy and in your face. The ones who do come on strong are more likely to be the super-confident narcissistic types or those who are looking for a quick sexual encounter rather than a serious relationship.
If you “play hard to get” with the good guys though they’re likely to think you’re not interested and they’ll simply move on. So make yourself approachable to good men! Smile at them and make eye contact. Respond positively when they talk to you, and don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation or find other ways to make a first move yourself!
Resolution #4: Prioritise time for dating
I know you’re a busy woman. You might be holding down a demanding job or running your own business (and I know just how exhausting and stressful that can be sometimes!), if you’ve got kids you’ll be spending loads of time and emotional energy on them – even if they’re all grown up, you may have caring responsibilities for parents, and probably a hundred other things too.
But if you want to maximise your chances of finding a good man for a great relationship, you will have to carve out a chunk of time for this too. If you’re going to socialise more and join a new club or class as suggested earlier, that takes time. If you’re getting into online dating, it’s only going to work well if you devote regular bits of time to checking out men’s profiles and writing and responding to messages, and then of course when you’re actually going out on dates you need time and energy for that too.
It might seem a lot, and we women in particular have a habit of prioritising other people over our own needs. But think how much difference a good relationship will make in your life. Not only will you be a whole lot happier, but it’ll hugely enhance your emotional capital – and that means you’ll have so much more to give to others, and so much more energy and time for ALL the important things in your life.
Resolution #5: Bite the bullet with online dating
Let’s face it, most of us tend to hate the idea of online dating.
But if we’re going to find our man – or one of the men that would suit us – we’re going to have to look for him. We need to create opportunities to meet men.
It’s a numbers game. The more men we can meet and get to know, the more chance we have of finding one that suits us and is attracted to us. So, an obvious way to do that is to sign up for online dating. Just part of your arsenal really.
And I can reassure you that loads of the women who’ve been through the Dating Evolved Program have met their man through online dating and are now in wonderful relationships.
You can actually enjoy online dating – it is possible! It’s about avoiding wasting time on the crap guys – drop them and move on so you have time to engage with friendly guys – and actually have fun.
And… as it happens I’m running an event very soon where I can give you a ton of help with this!
I’m running a FREE MASTERCLASS on Tuesday 9th January at 7pm GMT and it’s called:
SUCCESSFUL ONLINE DATING IN MIDLIFE
I’ve run this masterclass before and I’ve had fantastic feedback on how helpful it’s been, so if you’re planning on getting into online dating this new year, I’d really recommend attending.
In the Masterclass you’ll learn how to:
• Approach online dating with a successful mindset
• Write your online dating profile in a way that's attractive and compelling for the right man for you
• Filter out the wrong men - the players, narcissists, scammers
• Write captivating messages to get interesting conversations going with men aligned with you
• Run a video date effectively
• Arrange a first IRL date in ways that get things off to the very best start
I’ll finish up with a Q&A session so I can answer your burning online dating questions, and you’ll leave this masterclass with the tools you need to be successful with - and actually enjoy - online dating.
So if this sounds like the help you need, just click on the link to register for free:
I’m looking forward to seeing you there!
And wishing you a Happy Hogmanay and lots of love and luck in 2024!