Cynthia's Story

So Cynthia, could you tell us a little bit about yourself first of all?

I’ve had two marriages. The first ended after 10 years. Then I met my second husband in Bath and was very happily married for 18 years. Sadly, 2 years ago he died of cancer. From the two marriages I inherited 4 stepchildren who I love to bits.

These last two years have been quite sad really and I did feel quite lonely – although I have a lot of lovely friends who’ve supported me. The weekends I’ve found were the worst – when everyone was busy with their own families and their own lives. So eventually I thought I’ve got to get on with the rest of my life as best I can, and that’s when somehow or other I saw your link online – and I thought “this sounds like a good idea!”

Before you started the Dating Evolved Group Program, where were you with relationships and dating? How was your confidence about dating?

I didn’t know much about what to do and I certainly didn’t have the confidence for online dating. I knew I had to try and meet someone and I thought the only thing I can do is join some things where I can meet more people, particularly more men, because my life was very women-oriented at that point. So I joined a dance club but that didn’t work out very well because they weren’t doing any courses for beginners. It was at that point that I joined Dating Evolved.

The Dating Evolved program promises to teach you how to identify, attract, desire, and find the man you needed for a great relationship. Do you feel it delivered on that?

Yes! It obviously delivered for me because it all worked out really well really quickly. It certainly gives you the tools to have the confidence and to know what you really need to do. I think the program was really good.

Were there any particular modules in the online course that resonated? Any lightbulb moments?

I think the module where you described all the different types of men – like the Dark Triad ones! That’s always stuck in my head. Every time I meet someone I think “Now is he Dark Triad or isn’t he?” But I think that was the most interesting part of it for me. And the part on increasing confidence was really really helpful.

Do you feel that going through the Dating Evolved program with other women also looking for a relationship was helpful in supporting you?

Yes I think it really helped – it was a huge aspect of the program. The ladies in my pod were all very different characters and ages but we all seemed to gel really well and it was nice to have conversations with them and lots of support. Anything that was going on, everybody rallied round and you felt as if you were in a group that cared which was lovely.

And I think the WhatsApp group for our little Pod was a really good idea to keep in touch with the other women who are looking for a similar thing obviously. Even though I was much older than the other women in the group, they were all lovely so it was a wonderful experience and hopefully will be ongoing. We’ve had some more calls together since finishing our weekly calls and we’re planning to meet up together in real life in the next couple of months.

Do you feel as if you got plenty of support from me (Mairi)?

Yes definitely, and if we asked you anything you came back straight away. You were always there and you were always on the ball with it. I knew that I could speak to you one to one at any time. I think you manage the whole thing really well, so that’s an important aspect.


What do you think was the biggest thing you got from the Dating Evolved program?

I think probably the confidence aspect. Wanting to go forward and then finding it was so much easier once I’d been through the program. I think on my own, without the conversations I had, the instruction from you, I don’t think I would have known about how to go about it at all!

If it hadn’t worked out as well as it has for me – I know having done the program, I wouldn’t have struggled as much to go back online and look again. I think if I’d had that experience and not found anybody quickly I think I may have got quite despondent about it. That’s where the group is really important.
I think it’s a brilliant idea to have the Pod group – we were called the Marmosets (Having been a primatologist, Mairi gives the groups names of types of monkey!) – it gives you that camaraderie and you know you’re not the only one in that situation.

I know you’ve found a partner now - Richard. Can you tell us how you met him?

I went online and I joined a group called Widows & Widowers which I’d seen in a magazine. So I thought I’ll try them. I went online but I found it an extremely difficult site to get a sense of anyone properly. You’d get a notification that someone’s sent you a smile or whatever it was, and also I was quite fussy because I wanted someone quite local and I wanted someone my age. I didn’t want a toy boy and I didn’t want an old codger. Somewhere in between! I messaged with a couple of guys, but one was a bit boring and the other one lived in Wales a long way from me and he showed dogs at the weekends so wouldn’t be available at the time when I needed somebody.

But then I had a message from Richard – third time lucky! He sounded really nice and quite normal and he sent quite a longish message telling me about his family and his background. He had come from a place in Wiltshire I know well, and his wife had died the year before, after a long illness.

We didn’t speak on the phone – I thought he sounded quite ok. So I picked a pub and a time and, as you’d said to do, I had a plan in case things didn’t go well. I had a friend nearby, I know the pub well – it’s where my late husband and I used to go and I know the owner and staff, so I thought that would be a good place to meet. Easy for both of us to get to.

We met in the car park and shook hands fairly formally and he looked like his picture – not particularly good looking but quite nice, pleasant looking, kind face. Dark hair – not much grey at all. And I thought “he looks alright!”
We sat in the pub and we chatted away and it was fine, and as we were leaving he gave me a peck on the cheek – so I thought that’s good he’s quite respectful and everything, and we agreed that we’d like to see each other and we organised a second date. So then we had a couple more dates – one to the theatre and for another we had a wander round the park and a car boot sale. He's good at suggesting stuff to do. Then we started seeing each other quite regularly and it sort of went from there.

And how have things been going?

He either comes over to me or I go over to him. I go to him more at the weekends because during the week I work a couple of days and I like to see my girlfriends, so he comes over here and eats with me during the week and then at the weekends I go to his and we go out and about a lot more and do stuff.
So we’ve been to Wales a couple of times, and we’ve been to Malvern. He took me to a very nice hotel in Malvern for my birthday in August and bought me a very nice present of a lovely piece of jewellery.

We got on really well – we’re very alike in many ways and it just sort of works. Nice and comfortable and familiar. His family are all nice, and they invited me for Christmas so that’s lovely.


It sounds as if you’ve got quite a nice balance between doing your own things and seeing Richard?

Yes! We’re going to carry on as we are and see how that goes. But the plan is to get a place together eventually. I’m quite a traditional person so if it carries on going as nicely as it is now I’d quite like to get married again. I think we will.

But for now I’m very happy with the way things are going and all my friends have commented on how well I look and how happy I look and that’s really nice.

How would you describe the change in your life since you went through the Dating Evolved program? What does your life look like now? And how does it feel?

Amazingly different really. For two years I was feeling so sad, I was missing my late husband. It was such a hole in my life.

I’m so much happier now, always out and about. My friends keep teasing me that they’ve got to book an appointment to see me now! But I do make time for them!

But now I’ve got someone to go on walks with, someone to eat with, and it’s just really lovely. I couldn’t be happier really.


Do you have any advice for women who are looking for a partner and are perhaps feeling like it’ll never happen for them?

If you’re over 50 and you’re looking for somebody, I think the Dating Evolved program is wonderful and I’d definitely recommend it. I don’t think I’d have met anybody if I hadn’t joined your program and I’m so pleased that I did.
I missed a few of the last Dating Evolved Academy calls but that’s because I was busy doing things with Richard!
The program has been a wonderful experience and I don’t think I’d have found my man without it – so thank you for that Mairi!