Why the Sex Ratio where you meet men is REALLY important

In last week’s Catch-Up Call (one of the 4 monthly group calls I have with clients), Andrea jumped in to sing the praises of attending cricket matches after having been at the Oval the other day. While there were 28,000 spectators at the match she watched, she doubted that more than 10% of these were women.

“Seriously! All the ladies should go and join a cricket club whether they like cricket or not,” she said.

“There are so many opportunities. I had four men fussing over me at lunchtime!”

I agree. But it doesn’t have to be cricket.

Any event or social gathering where there’s a high proportion of men is a good bet for getting attention.

But not just any attention. You may think it’s obvious that you’ll get to speak with more men when there are more men around, but it’s better than that, because when men outnumber women they’re more likely to behave and communicate in a way you’ll appreciate.

And that means greater potential for relations to get off to a good start.

Various studies have shown (e.g. this one by psychologist Michal Kandrik and his colleagues at the University of Glasgow) that the gender in short supply tends to get to call the shots when it comes to how they behave towards one another.

In areas where there’s a higher proportion of men than women – rural areas tend to fulfil this criterion – men are much more likely to express a desire to be married or at least in committed relationships and will be more likely to behave in a way to foster this outcome. In cities, on the other hand, where women tend to outnumber men, it’s harder to pin a man down and they’ll be more likely to play the field (think Sex & the City).

But we get a similar effect even in temporary, localised situations where there’s a sex imbalance.

I remember one night a few years ago (before I met my husband) when I met up with a few friends in a bar and it just happened that I was the only woman in a group of about seven or eight. I have to say I was feeling very attractive and popular on that occasion because everybody seemed to want to talk to me and they were all very gentlemanly (had there been a few other women in the group I can’t kid myself that it wouldn’t have been another story).

But imagine, say, walking into a crowded student bar with 70% women – it’s going to be a different ball game; there’s going to be a lot of flesh on show, there’s going to be hair flicking, and there’s going to be a lot of competition to give the guys what they want. Yeah I know – you’d likely just walk straight back out of there!

Anyway… What all this means is it’s a good idea to get yourself along to classes, events, clubs etc. where there’s likely to be a decent proportion of men.

I reckon your yoga class/book club/choir IS NOT going to be the best place for meeting potential partners (although of course you never know!)

Here are some ideas for where you could potentially find a high proportion of men:

• Cricket (obviously)
• Hiking/mountaineering club
• Cycling club or E-bike group
• Sailing club
• Amateur astronomy
• History, archaeology and heritage groups
• Conservation volunteers
• Golf club
• Any kind of scientific society
• Wine tasting – whisky tasting even better!
• Public lectures: science, history, economics
• Guitar club
• Real Ale Society

There are tons more, and you must be able to find something you like. Google is your friend!

I’d love to hear what you come up with! Do comment with your ideas, and let me know how you get on there :)

MAIRI MACLEOD PHD

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